Ravi’s sister Nutan is one of my best friends. We like to say that we have traded places – she lives in the United States and has become an integral part of my family there while I live in India and have become the same to her family here. My family is always thanking me for her presence in their lives. She has an amazing, force-of-nature personality: no one who meets her can ever forget her. And yet she has a remarkable sensitivity and intuitive understanding of people and their needs.
When she heard Mom was sick, she drove all the way up from Connecticut to see her, along with my brother-in-law and my niece and nephew. They were all away on a family holiday, but they took the time to come for what turned out to be their last visit with Mom for she died the next day.
At the wake, she asked me about a photographer for the funeral- had I hired one? I said no, but that I would like pictures. She took my camera the next morning and set to work.
Later I found out that someone had taken her aside and said gently (to the poor Indian who probably didn’t understand American customs) “We don’t normally take pictures at funerals.”
Nutan drew herself up to her full height (she’s around 5’2″) and said “The family wants pictures. The family gets pictures.”
We call her God’s Elder Sister.
Jo,
Nutan forwarded your site to her “white” lady friends this morning. I loved this but should have been “What Nutan wants, Nutan gets.”
A funny story. We had continuosly asked Nutan for ideas to bring some small token gifts to the Indian families we will be staying with. She REFUSED to give us any info saying she would take care of it.
I decided to go around Nutan and called Bobby and asked her. She said that we we were to do as Nutan wished. Unfortunately for Bobby, all of Nutan’s American girlfriends are just like Nutan! Therefore, I had to tell Bobby that “What Cyndi wants, Cyndi gets.” I now know the ages of the children in each household but Bobby’s voice was trembling when she gave me the info.
I am very excited about our trip to India and look forward to seeing you and your school in the next few weeks.
Your blog on your Mom’s obit was beautiful. I’d really like to read it. Please send to me.
Cyndi