Change is often slow by Paula Hughes
Change is often slow, sometimes so slow it seems that nothing is happening at all. We have all experienced that feeling of shock on seeing other people’s children after a long time – How they’ve grown! We notice instantly because our memory of them has remained static while they most certainly have not. For parents, who see the child daily, growth is often too slow to be noticed until the pants get too short or a button bursts off a dress.
After a six-month absence from KV, the first thing I noticed on my return was indeed how the children had grown. But other changes, too – how much more steadily this child was walking, or that child was standing. When I commented on how Amanpreet fell down less often as he chased Vishal for possession of the football, most people agreed. They were aware of it, but the rate of change had been too slow to be an “event” that was reported in my news update.
Growth and change are not only physical. Emotional development, behaviour and social skills are all important aspects of growth for which the measures of progress are less tangible. Here again I could see small but significant changes. An improvement in the attention span of one child – she could now complete a puzzle without demanding adult attention; an increase in confidence in another child – a child standing in line, for ten seconds only, but in line. Oh wow! I noticed many similar developments.
My remarks on the changes were greeted positively- “Oh yes, she/he does do that!” Then why had no one told me of this fantastic progress? Perhaps because Mayank’s 10 seconds achievements had developed one or two seconds at time, increasing not daily but slowly over the months and interspersed with pauses and occasional backward steps; the slow rate of growth almost unnoticeable. For me, after so long an absence, those 10 seconds represented a huge leap.
Working with children who have special needs, change is invariably slow. For those who are close to them, small steps can be missed. And it is easy to become disheartened when it seems in spite of all the effort by parents, teachers and therapists, there is no growth – indeed, at times it may even seem the reverse is happening. But this is rarely the case.
Whilst we must not be complacent and assume all will be fine given time; we must remember that real growth is often invisible.
Beneath the ground, the roots of the tree meander every which way in order to find nourishment; above the ground no matter how steadily we gaze there will be no single moment which we can say –“look, see the tree is growing!” In our eagerness to see growth in the trunk we may miss the green speck of the emerging shoot. If for a time we can stop yearning for that dramatic growth, that miraculous change, and simply nurture the roots and enjoy the beauty of the tree, when we look, we may see the opening bud.
