In families across the world, it’s usually the moms who do the heavy lifting – globally, the figure stands at thrice as much unpaid care work than men, with the numbers closer to five times as much in India (OECD, 2023). The emotional and physical toll is well documented.

For mothers of disabled children, in particular, caregiving is usually a full-time, emotionally loaded, often isolating responsibility. Saying they “do a lot,” doesn’t come close to capturing the half of it – they’re managing therapy schedules, pushing for school accommodations, tracking medical appointments, coordinating transport, cooking specific meals, chasing government paperwork, monitoring regressions, managing meltdowns, interpreting symptoms, and planning for a future they know may not include them.

Of course the responsibilities don’t end with the child. These mothers often carry the emotional and logistical burden for the whole family. They soothe siblings who feel sidelined. They manage household routines around caregiving. They absorb marital stress, rarely asking for help because they’ve been trained not to. One study found that mothers of developmentally disabled children experience significantly higher levels of chronic stress than mothers of typically developing children (Singer, 2006; Brehaut et al., 2009). Unacknowledged and unsupported, this stress becomes a health issue, a mental health crisis or burnout. And yet, they remain invisible in most policy and household conversations.

Some countries have started to respond. In Sweden, parents of disabled children receive a monthly caregiver allowance and priority access to respite care. In the UK, short breaks and personal budgets are provided to ease daily care demands. Canada offers tailored mental health services to parents of children with neurodevelopmental needs. While these supports don’t erase the load, they make it more manageable.

At the community level, parent-led support groups, skill-building workshops, and school-initiated family counselling sessions have been shown to reduce stress and improve mental health outcomes for mothers. Peer support, even once a week, can shift the emotional weather.

A lot can improve within families as well, and it starts with other members sharing the responsibilities. Partners must step up, not to “help,” but take ownership of tasks. Extended family can offer childcare or even just a listening ear. Friends can ask real questions and stay present even when things are messy. Communities and workplaces can build in flexibility and compassion instead of judgment.

At Latika, we see this. As a family-centered organization, we strive to do better by the moms we work with. That means treating mothers not just as caregivers, but as individuals with their own needs, limits, and aspirations. It means making space for conversations about identity, self-worth, and rest. Our mothers’ support groups and meetups both within our premises and outside, remind them that they’re allowed to let go sometimes.

This Mother’s Day, the kids at Latika school welcomed their moms into the classroom with beaming smiles, expressing their love and gratitude through personalized, handmade cards. The mothers were deeply moved.

Mother’s Day cards matter but they’re only a starting point. What mothers need is recognition that’s backed by action – systems that support, policies that include, and people who understand that care work is work. We’ve said it before and we’ll keep saying it – to all the moms who’ve been holding the line for years, we’re here for you. Happy Mothers’ Day!

If you’re wondering how to celebrate a mother of a disabled child, start by seeing her. Ask her what she needs, and believe her when she tells you!