When I was a child I overheard my mother arguing with a friend about a line from Hamlet:
“There’s nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so “. Mom agreed. Her friend didn’t .
“There are absolutes in this world,” he insisted . “Good is good and bad is bad.”

Mom had a more nuanced view. I watched her realize the futility of the debate and noted the sweet, almost pitying smile on her face as she skillfully changed the subject. Like most important lessons in life, it didn’t strike me at the time that I was learning anything, but her insight stayed with me, a guide for the future: Control your thinking and you control your life.

The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes. As you think, so shall you be.

– William James

So helpful to know ! Applicable everywhere ! Two people in identical situations – one is miserable, the other is happy. What’s the difference ? The situation or the thinking?

We have no control over most of the things which determine our lives: where we are born or to whom, who like us, who doesn’t, what other people think or do, whether it will rain tomorrow or, come to think of it, whether disability is a part of our lives. All we get to decide is what we think and how we feel about it all. That decision is ours alone.

For some, disability is the tragedy which determines everything- the explanation and the excuse for any shortcoming or failure. For others, it is akin to their family’s income or the color of their skin, just a fact like any other.

But for those who choose to let it be so, disability is a gift- a chance to see life afresh, against the backdrop of brokenness and imperfection with which we all contend but seldom acknowledge; a glimpse of what life might look like if we could drop the pretenses and see ourselves as we are beautiful , triumphant, amazing, yes!- but also flawed, incomplete and struggling.

The 15th Karuna Vihar calendar celebrates attitude: that plucky, confident, “this is who I am” spirit which informs the best of disability activism; that defiant willingness to confront hard facts which transforms them from liabilities into strengths; that glorious ability to accept what is which enables a new future to unfold. As we think, so shall we be.

-–Jo Chopra