Parents of children with disability benefit enormously from meeting with other parents in similar situations. Sharing stories, problems, solutions and creative strategies for dealing with stress can be just what mothers and fathers need. Informal settings usually work best as a beginning. Many parents’ groups have formed as a result of mothers chatting while waiting for their children outside a school or therapy centre.

If your child isn’t enrolled in a centre, don’t give up! You can put a notice up in your pediatrician’s office or on the school bulletin board where your other kids go. Take out a small ad in the local classified or tell your bania what you are planning and ask him to tell other customers. Almost everyone knows a family with a child who has a disability. Slowly but surely, the word will spread.

It could begin as an informal gathering, a tea or an outing to a local park, with only introductions on the agenda, or a plan to create a list of topics of common interest.

Providing an inviting atmosphere, simple snacks and drinks, and finding people to help set up and stay afterwards to clean gets many groups off to a good start. Consider asking high school students to volunteer to play with the children so the parents can talk uninterrupted. Many SUPW programs would welcome such requests.

Once the basic ground work is done, ask yourself a few questions:

• What is the primary purpose of the group?
• What other purposes are there?
• What schools, disabilities, age groups, and geographical areas will you cover?
• Who will join the group?
• How will you communicate with or reach people?
• What is the underlying philosophy of the members?
• What are your goals for this year? Can you list them in order of importance?
• When do you want to meet?
• How often do you want to meet?
• Where do you want to meet?
• Who will lead the meetings?
• Will you need to raise any money and charge dues or solicit contributions?

Here are some suggestions to help your first meeting be a success:

• Get there early and be sure everything is set up as you want it.
• Be sure to put signs at the door directing people to the meeting room.
• Have a guest list for people to sign as they arrive. It is always helpful to have a mailing list of potential members. Even if all participants were invited, you may want to get phone numbers or other information. You might want to add one or two identifiers to this list, such as age of child, school child attends, disability of child, or whatever information may be useful in selecting future activities. Be sure guests understand that they are not signing up to be members or volunteering to do anything; this is an informational list only.
• Provide name tags. People may not know each other. There are many ways to personalize the tags. Folks could be asked to include information about their child or occupation on the tag. For example, a name tag might read, "Namrata Sharma, Shalabh’s mom." or "Rina Rawat, Helper at Early Intervention Centre”

When all the members have arrived, and you're ready to officially begin the meeting, you might find these suggestions helpful:

• If the group is small, you may want to take a few minutes to have everyone give his/her name, and some information about their child.
• Go through the items on your agenda. Don't rush, but keep the meeting moving.
• Set a time and place for the next meeting, and identify possible topics.
• Allow time for socializing and discussion. It's important for members to be able to talk to one another; it's also important not to let this aspect "take over" the meeting.
• End on time.

What should happen after the first meeting?

It's a great idea to send a notice to all those who attended, letting them know you're glad they came. In this letter, you may wish to:

• Give some information on the kind of people who were there, based on the information you collected. For example, you might be able to say that 80% of those attending were parents, over half of their children are under age 8, that most of the children are identified as developmentally delayed or mildly mentally retarded, and that the professionals who attended were all special education teachers at the elementary level.
• Reiterate any decisions that were reached at the meeting, certainly the name of the group, its officers, and the time and place of the next meeting.
• Describe any nominations or elections that are planned.
• Make requests for any needed help. Be specific about what is needed and how much time is involved.
• Provide a way for those who attended to make suggestions and recommend future agenda items.
• Be sure to let people know how to get in touch with you and other leaders.