December 20th, 2008 Jo
Moy Moy loves Christmas too. She’s disappointed that neither Anand nor Cathleen will be coming this year (as are we all! This will be the first time ever that both of them are missing Christmas at home), but she approves of their desire to save money and to consume less of the Earth’s resources. However, as the time draws closer to their Non-Arrival, she is feeling a little less environmental and lot more sentimental. Or is that her Mom projecting?
Mom is glad at least one of her chickens is still at home and not likely to fly off any time soon. Gotta have kids at Christmas!
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July 31st, 2008 Jo
Ravi’s sister Nutan is one of my best friends. We like to say that we have traded places - she lives in the United States and has become an integral part of my family there while I live in India and have become the same to her family here. My family is always thanking me for her presence in their lives. She has an amazing, force-of-nature personality: no one who meets her can ever forget her. And yet she has a remarkable sensitivity and intuitive understanding of people and their needs.
When she heard Mom was sick, she drove all the way up from Connecticut to see her, along with my brother-in-law and my niece and nephew. They were all away on a family holiday, but they took the time to come for what turned out to be their last visit with Mom for she died the next day.
At the wake, she asked me about a photographer for the funeral- had I hired one? I said no, but that I would like pictures. She took my camera the next morning and set to work.
Later I found out that someone had taken her aside and said gently (to the poor Indian who probably didn’t understand American customs) “We don’t normally take pictures at funerals.”
Nutan drew herself up to her full height (she’s around 5′2″) and said “The family wants pictures. The family gets pictures.”
We call her God’s Elder Sister.
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July 31st, 2008 Jo
I got an email from my sister Lucy today titled “Blogs”. Inside she said “We have to do better at them! Both of us!” (Hers is http://lucycuseo.blogspot.com/, by the way, and it’s wonderful.) Anyway, it was a point well taken.
I am back at home and have hurtled straight through jet-lag (which I normally like to spin out as long as possible) and into my “normal” routine at a rate of knots. I was still asleep when my old friend Avinash Pasricha (google him! One of India’s finest, most famous photographers) called, out of the blue, and insisted that I get up and organize a photo shoot. He was in town unexpectedly and he couldn’t leave without seeing the kids whom he’s been taking pictures of for over a decade. So organize I did. Together, in two days of manic activity, we shot over 500 pictures of children at our five different centres. It was a wonderful re-entry after my month with Daddy - I got to every single project, met all the staff, all the kids and even a few parents.
Avinash got this one of me with Pinky, a darling and affectionate girl at Karuna Vihar Junior. I am so happy to be back.
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July 17th, 2008 Jo
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Dad isn’t much into traveling these days. He gets tired easily and he hasn’t the desire or the interest that once took him around the world (to Africa, Portugal, Ireland, Israel and India, to name just a few).
But after Mom’s death, he was determined to get to Florida to visit her twin sister Chris. He wanted to be with her in her grief - if there was anyone who understood what he himself was going through, it was Aunt Chris. She and Mom were the best of friends for their entire lives, and because she never married, for Aunt Chris, Mom was everything.
My sister Moy Moy worried that the trip to Miami would be too tiring for Dad to manage - the lines for check-in and security and baggage just seemed too much to expect him to cope with. So she and her husband Brian arranged for us to fly down in a private jet!
Let me assure you, gentle reader, you have never experienced luxury quite like this.
We drove straight up to the plane - no lines, no security, no check-in. Our bags were taken out of the boot and stowed while we were being ushered up the four steps into the plane. Someone drove our car away to a parking area and someone else would have it waiting for us when we returned. Inside the plane, we were welcomed and made comfortable and told about all the wonderful little stashes of treats hidden away under our seats, where the wine was and how to operate the video system. Amazing.
Moy and Brian have a beautiful flat on Fisher Island which is where we were going to stay. We got in around nine, had dinner and went to bed. I was so excited about being there I could hardly sleep. I kept waking up to see if it was light enough to get up. When seven AM finally rolled around, this is the view I got from the balcony:
I went for a long walk before anyone else was up- it was so beautiful and quiet at that time of the morning: just me and all the worker-bees, busy combing the sand, polishing the walkways and trimming the grass.
Aunt Chris at 11 arrived with my brother Chris (who lives with her and looks after her) and her companion-nurse Gennifer. I hadn’t seen her in two years and I was a bit shocked by how thin and frail she has become.
But she was so happy to see us and to have the chance to talk about her beloved twin and how much she missed her. She said her death was “the saddest thing that had ever happened” to her.
We showed her the photos from the funeral and told her about all the songs and the readings and who all had come and what they had said. I played her the song I had written for the funeral which Patrick had sung and then burned onto a CD for me and she and Dad both cried while they listened.
Moy Moy took us all out for a lovely lunch by the ocean and we talked some more about Aunt Chris’ childhood with Mom and the many memories they shared. Brian had sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers and Moy gave them to Aunt Chris to take home. And before we knew it, it was time to leave. 24 hours, round trip. Amazing.
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June 17th, 2008 Jo
I love watching children work at the things they set their minds to. This little girl knows the cap has to go back on the pen and she is determined to get it there. She’s got green ink on her fingers and her arm, but look at the calm persistence on her face! She brings her full attention to the task and nothing else matters to her right now but these: the pen, the cap, the color green. The definition of Zen? Do one thing.
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May 24th, 2008 Jo
I was so excited when Vandana called to say she was in Dehradun for a meeting and would like to drop in to visit. Vandana has been a legend in my mind for as long as I have known her. I first met her in 1995 when I took Moy Moy to be assessed at the Spastics Society of North India (now AADI). She is a pediatric occupational therapist and at that time she was working full-time at SSNI. Later, she became the director, and now, while still heavily involved in its work and on its Board of Governors, she works as an independent consultant on disability issues.
The Foundation owes a tremendous debt to AADI for all its support, advice and guidance in our early years. Vandana, Gloria, Shaymala, Shalini, Madhumati and all the other lovely people who work(ed) there helped us in more ways than I can count, including introducing us to Shaila Faleiro, our very first special educator, and to Mr Gulati, the talented orthotist who still comes to Dehradun regularly to assess and treat our kids. It’s been a wonderful association and it continues to grow.
Now when I meet Vandana I try to drop the hero-worship thing (I just discovered I am a few months older than she is, so it’s suddenly easier!) and relate as a colleague. Moy Moy found a bit boring, as all we did was talk shop, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to hear the views of this very wise, very experienced woman. She stayed for a little over two hours and we had dinner together and traded stories and ideas and reflections and the time flew by and she was gone before I knew it, leaving me eager to continue the conversation - in Delhi, or in Dehradun again. Some people are too good to be true!
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May 22nd, 2008 Jo
Meeting Aruna Roy was one of the best things to happen to me in a long time. I have heard about her for years from Ravi, and from Dunu, and from reading about her work in the press - but nothing prepared me for the real thing - the woman herself, so fiery and passionate she makes you believe in the possibility of a new world order.
We had asked her to deliver the annual talk in our Sir Ratan Tata Distinguished Lecture Series on Education and Inclusion, and she had said yes instantly - no standing on ceremony or acting too important for such a small-fry organisation as ours. Of course, I did have to pursue her somewhat relentlessly for a pucca date, but she had warned me of that in the beginning, and it only added to the fun and put us on easy humorous terms by the time she finally got here.
On the day of the lecture, she asked me to come and meet her to go over the plan and to get to know each other a little in advance. I’m so glad I did. I took Moy Moy along and that added a whole different level to our discussions. Moy “keeps it real,” by her nature, and it’s easy to see a person’s true self in the atmosphere that she evokes.
Aruna shone.
She has a gentle way of accepting people just as they are while simultaneously inspiring them to become whoever they could be. What amazed me about her was her engagement with life. Everything seems to interest her. She is vivid, radiant, and unbelievably PRESENT. She brings her heart and her soul and her mind to everything she encounters.
While we were together, we talked about her work in Devdhoongri village in Rajasthan, about my work in disability, about Moy Moy, about tribal activists in Chattisgarh, globalization, schools around the world and the rivers of Uttarakhand. On every subject, she was informed and inquisitive, analyzing, making connections and eager to learn more. It was inspiring and remarkable. It is rare to meet a person of such integrity - I mean that in the true sense of the word: she has an understanding so strong and clear that it works the same way no matter what it is she is looking at.
I also had the pleasure of meeting her famous husband - Bunker Roy. I had met him once 27 years ago - I was a shy, overwhelmed newly-arrived young thing and he was a famous activist even then. He was tall, angular and severe, dressed all in black and, it seemed to me, frosty and remote.
Nothing could be further from the truth (a good example of how we project our own insecurities and inadequacies on to others). Bunker is a charming and a courtly man - an old-fashioned word that seems to suit him. He has a dignity and a presence which seems inclusive and all-encompassing. He was so considerate of Moy Moy and her needs and genuinely curious about what I do. It was a treat to have my old image of him adjusted! And I got one fabulous idea from listening to him talk about what he does - one of his many programs involves training women to become solar engineers. Anyone can sign up, as long as they are grandmothers. He said they are the ones who are committed to their villages; they are the ones who will stay.
Posted in Bright Ideas, Little Notes, Serious Stuff | No Comments »
May 13th, 2008 Jo
This is Katie, one of the Dream Team who came to Dehradun last year to volunteer (the other two were Noorie and Aileen, both designers and the ones responsible for our amazing annual report and various other marvelous projects). Technically, Katie worked at PSI, but she also spent time in our projects and, since she lived in our house, I think of her as one of our own.
Well, this is just to report her latest great news: this morning I heard that Katie was admitted to medical school! She will be attending Wayne State and since I wrote one of her letters of recommendation, I think a good share of the credit should go to me. Ha Ha.
Seriously, it was a pleasure to write the letter because I just feel so certain that Katie will be a wonderful doctor, one I would want to have for myself or my children or anyone I cared about. We are all so proud of you, Katie! Jeete raho!
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May 12th, 2008 Jo
I returned home on Wednesday and on Sunday we had our Foundation’s Executive Committee meeting - a big push for someone like me, who loves to luxuriate in jet lag for at least a week (I really don’t understand people who manage to leap right back into their work routines after a trip abroad - I find the swoop of jetlag sleep impossible to resist!). Anyway, we managed to pull it off, thanks mainly to the hard work of our staff (Sumita, Vandana and Ashish in particular). Here’s the office, just before the meeting.
And here’s the Committee: Joshiji, our president (who tried to resign this term but was shouted down by the assembled), Vina, who arrived back in town only the night before but who managed to fit it into her busy schedule, Tara, who came all the way from Jaipur just to attend, Deepa, who traveled from Simla on an ordinary bus, and Ravi who sat in for Sudhir who wasn’t able to make it this time.
Vikram and Subhash cooked us a fabulous lunch and for once there’s even a picture of me attending!
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May 5th, 2008 Jo
Lucy lives next door to Mom and Dad. She is my youngest sister and she has the most loving, generous heart of anyone I know. Lucy’s life revolves around meeting the needs of others. What does she not do? She is like one of those women from another era - she cooks fabulous meals, volunteers at school, takes care of her friends’ kids when crises hit their lives and brings up her own two wonderful boys. But it’s the care and devotion she lavishes on our parents which really makes her stand out.
Mom and Dad need almost everything done for them: she does their shopping, cooks their meals, cleans their house, bathes Mom, gets her on the toilet every few hours and keeps track of all the amazing things she says. She does it all with humor and love: she makes them feel special, like they are the very ones she’s been waiting all day to see.
Lucy’s husband Robert takes care of the plumbing, the electrical jobs, the washing machine crises, the garden and the heavy lifting. He has built an amazing ramp so Mom can go in and out of the house with ease and there is nothing he can’t fix. He is a darling and a jewel and none of it would be possible without his open, loving Italian heart.
It makes their lives good. It makes our lives great. Just knowing they are there lets us sleep at night.
Posted in America 08, Little Notes | 1 Comment »
